Fooshy Elevator Music

Back in college our phone had "technical difficulties".  Some may think "issues" would be a more fitting term.

This was in the days before widespread cell phone use.  Back then cell phones plugged into car cigarette lighters and had their own battery cases attached.  Those were corded, too.  A former boss of mine told me she used to work with a crisis hotline and had to carry around a cell phone the size of a large brick and hold it with 2 hands back in the day.  But I digress...

This was a land line.  It plugged into the wall and had a long, knotted, twisty cord that tethered you in the kitchen.  And it was beige.  For reasons unbeknownst to me, there was some kind of radio interference and somehow it picked up the local soft rock station.  So whenever we used the phone we would suddenly hear fooshy elevator music.  Alas, the person on the other end of the line couldn't hear it.  (I always thought it was some kind of conspiracy to up the station's listener count).

One day one of my best friends, Jessica, called me with wonderful news.  She was getting married!  She started giving details and was so exciting to tell me everything that I couldn't break in to tell her how hard I was trying not to laugh.  Not that getting engaged is funny.  No, I was very happy to hear that, of course, but there was this sappy love music  playing over the phone the entire time.  I have never had to bite my knuckles so hard to keep from breaking up.  If only she could have heard that lovey music and known how elegantly it accentuated her news.